demons

sometimes life just suxx. when pain, fear and panic take a hold of you and let your mind play tricks. when you look at a picture and you feel like something is ripping your heart out. you know that everything is fine or will be fine, but right at this moment it is just a punch in your stomach. it just doesn’t make any sense, you can’t explain why, there is no reason that you’re aware of. it’s coming from deep down, letting you scream and cry. you can’t find any words to explain, but that doesn’t matter, because nobody would understand it. you not even know if YOU yourself would understand it if somebody told you. it’s just the bare look at your worst enemy, knowing that sharing and encountering certain things may always stay a matter of impossibility. some things are burnt into souls and minds. you fear the enemy, you fear his presence, you even fear his sheer presence in the distance, around your loved ones. he can be everywhere and still keep you from there. he is not only fighting you from face to face, he does his work all the time and gives you the creeps. thoughts of love and hope let you look towards the future, paint a bright light to the horizon, but while looking to the light, the smokes of darkness crawl up behind you and slam their claws into the skin of your back, rip you open, turn your inside out. try to forget, try to ignore, try to oversee, try to survive. try to live. try to release the grip around your heart. try to fight the demons. fight them. don’t be fought. kill them. don’t be killed. their foul breath coming from the deeps, their waste lying around, their claws around tortured souls, bound to the place that you might call hell. hell for you. you look at it and feel powerless, helpless. but you have to face it to survive it. you know it. you will walk through the world that you fear, ‚cause hope and love are guiding you. and maybe you can fight your own demons. if you just could understand what happens.